I Healed Myself, And You Can Too!
It's fair to say that I hated myself from a young age.
I heard about eating disorders when I was about 10 and I knew that depriving myself of food would be the perfect way to punish myself.
I started smoking when I was 13.
At 14 I would cut and burn myself to feel better.
By age 16 I had a full blown panic/anxiety disorder that was out of control.
At age 18 I moved out of home and started drinking a lot.
Out of all of these things, the only thing that really bothered me was the anxiety. It kept me in a prison. I developed fears around leaving my house, being unwell and being alone.
I tried everything that I could to get rid of it. I took medication, I read books, I saw an anxiety coach and several (very expensive) psychs, I changed my diet and practiced meditation at home. But my anxiety just became worse.
There were only 4 things that made an impact, and these things cured all of my other issues as well as my anxiety….
1) Going to a meditation class
The practice that I was doing at home just wasn’t up to scratch. Going to a class meant that I wasn't trying to guide myself through the practice, so I could relax and let someone else gently guide me. Not only did the meditation calm my mind, but it helped me to sleep, to make peace with my life and eventually love myself. That was 10 years ago now. These days it’s a lot easier to access free guided meditations for home practice! I'm so passionate about my free meditations on YouTube so that I can help people access super-useful resources for free. I would have loved to have access to tools like this during my recovery.
2) Working with a spiritual healer
I worked with the same woman for about 2 years, and continued to see spiritual healers for years beyond, even still today. I released old patterns, healed my inner child and cleared my energy to make way for optimal health. Spiritual healing was so powerful for me that it drove me to study spiritual healing modalities for myself, so that I could offer the same transformative power to other people.
3) Acceptance and commitment therapy (mindfulness)
This is what got me over the line to a full, long-lasting recovery. I couldn't believe how well ACT worked! This is the reason why I then went on to become a trained ACT therapist. I never actually needed to have any sessions with an ACT therapist because I had already done so much work on myself in the years prior, and because ACT is SO effective and simple. Once you learn the techniques, they're yours forever. You don't need ongoing therapy for the tools to keep working for you. I just read books, did courses and applied everything in my own life. My recovery story is why I honestly believe that spiritual + practical therapy is a winning combination!
4) I continued to learn
I became a master of self-healing and I continue to upkeep my mastery. I read, I meditate, I practice, I experiment with new techniques, I go to classes and workshops and I see wellness professionals. Just because I have recovered from anxiety, self-hatred, and an eating disorder, it doesn't mean that there's nothing left to learn. I am becoming a better version of myself every single day.
My journey is not unique. Many of us have pain, struggle, fears and doubts. I'm living proof that it doesn't matter how bad you think your life is, IT IS POSSIBLE to turn things around! I know that you can do it. Have you read my book, Rock Every Moment? (get it here) Remember how to grow your roots? Tend to your roots as often as you can, so that positive and life-enhancing habits are already at play, in every moment of your life..
Two things were crucial for me in finding my path to healing…
* I listened to my heart (and went to a meditation class), instead of listening to my head and everyone outside of me (and going on medication and seeing expensive "professionals" who didn't help me). I had the courage to let my heart lead me to the answer.
* I let others help me. Part of becoming a self-healing master is about knowing when you can handle things on your own and when you need to invite support in. Once I found the right support person, I was happy to continue to see her as much as I needed. Sometimes you need to shop around until you find your match, but listen to your heart, it will lead you to the right place.
Whether you decide you'd like to work with me or someone else, I hope that you are well supported and become a master of your own self-healing and wellbeing journey!
If you’ve got a spare hour and want to hear all the gory details of my recovery (what worked and what didn’t work) then watch my video about it here.
Inspired by my journey or want to share yours? Leave a comment!