Saying "Yes" To Unexpected Circumstances
I like plans. I like to be organised. I like to know what my life will be like. I like to be in control. I don't like it when plans change or things do unfold as expected.
Sometimes a simple and harmless change of plans was easy for me to manage and accept. But most of the time, an unexpected turn of events was enough to send me into a full blown meltdown.
Since beginning my YesQuest, I've become better at identifying which situations are meltdown-worthy and which are not even worth worrying about. I've been getting better…. breathing… cutting ties… letting shit go. It feels good.
Then there was the case of the eggplant fiasco.…
I was planning on making dinner for some friends, crumbed eggplant to be exact. I had all the ingredients, I had a plan, I had a vision, I knew exactly what I wanted to create. It was to be amazing.
I felt like a Masterchef pro, designing a beautiful and appetising plate of food in my mind, before entering the kitchen to get to work and bring it to life.
Just before dinner prep, I was in the bathroom with my daughter while she had a bath. My husband, decided to help me out by getting somethings ready for me in the kitchen…
He got out the frying pan and a few of the ingredients, great, thanks Honey. Oh and he cut the eggplant for me. But he cut it the way we sometimes cut it for the two of us… differently to how I wanted it.
My plan was ruined.
Of course, looking back now all I see the is the good intentions, the genuine desire to help, the love. Why couldn't I see this at the time?
Because my grip was too tight on one thing… my expectations.
I was so wound up with how I expected the meal to be, that I wasn't open to it turning out any other way.
I knew that my only real option for dealing with this situation was to accept it, but I stubbornly and rebelliously refused. Instead I blamed my husband. I told him all of the reasons why his eggplant-cutting technique was wrong, bad and bot good enough. Pretty harsh right? It didn't end there.
While I was resentfully cooking my butchered eggplant, I complained about how I couldn't cook them the way I wanted because I couldn't fill many pieces into the pan, thanks to the awkward shape.
It wasn't until the eggplant was served and our grateful guests expressed their enjoyment of the meal that I finally calmed down. I accepted their feedback as a message that the shape of the eggplant didn't actually matter - which it didn't.
This is why I need the YesQuest.
I used to respond like this to any tiny hiccup in my life. Can you imagine?
Since I've started saying "Yes" to my life, I've been happier, and situations like the eggplant fiasco have been few and far between, but a set-back like this is to be expected.
As I say to my clients, expect setbacks to avoid disappointment.
Have you ever had a situation where your expectations were challenged, your food was burnt, a friend cancelled on you or your plans were changed?
How did you cope?